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How Do I Reconnect With Myself After a Divorce?

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Many people don’t know that reconnecting to oneself after a hardship such as a divorce is vital. It’s part of the journey to recovery.

Even when the relationship ends without major hiccups, a person may find it to embrace a solo life. You may begin to experience emotions such as loneliness, anxiety, joy, anger, heartbreak, stress, and more. However, nothing lasts forever, and even chaos has an end.

The following are tips on reconnecting or reinventing yourself after a divorce.

Give Yourself Time to Grieve

Many people equate a breakup of the marriage to death. Therefore, even if you’re the one who initiated the split, it’s normal to mourn your lifestyle and the life that you have lost.

Indeed, divorce creates a vacuum and fragmentation where order and routine prevailed. So you need to take your time to mourn the loss. Some marriage therapists say that it takes nearly half of your time in marriage or a relationship to recover fully. Therefore, it’s essential to let go little by little.

Embrace Freedom

Divorce is the end of a marriage breakdown and may mean many things. One of them is that it’s liberating. Therefore, you should enjoy your newfound freedom because no one is holding you back from living how you want.

Now because you’re all alone, you can do everything you wished you could do, but your ex stopped you because they wanted something else. Engaging in such things will help you create new experiences. For instance, you can take a road trip, relocate to another country or state, go skydiving, and more.

However, don’t rush into another relationship. Instead, enjoy the freedom of being single first. After all, there are millions of people living alone across the world.

Take a Much-Needed Break

Even though there are many things to consider after a divorce, like finances and children, creating “me” time is vital because that can be refreshing.

Further, the entire divorce process is draining emotionally and can leave you feeling stressed. So taking a vacation alone can help soothe your soul, ease your mind, keep you grounded and put things in perspective.

In fact, getting a divorce shouldn’t be the end of your story but an opportunity to reinvent yourself as well as start afresh.

Lean on Friends

Leaning on friends will help you avoid doing anything rash or stupid. These include slashing your ex’s tires, drunk dialing your ex, harassing their new friends, or posting nasty comments or photos on social media.

Friends can prevent you from falling off the edge when you’re hurt or disappointed. This is because people don’t think rationally in such a time and can really do crazy things. So good friends will allow you to sob on their shoulders, prepare a meal for you and allow you to sleep on their couch until you feel better.

Make New Friends

One of the negative sides of a divorce is that your married girlfriends will reduce the amount of time they spend with you. Some may get worried that their spouses will get interested in them. In view of that, you need to get new single friends now that you’re in a different social pool.

In other words, you should start to surround yourself with people in a similar state because that means less time spent on negative feelings and painful memories. Additionally, although you need to vent, it’s important to avoid those who will keep recycling that and be part of those who will help you heal.

Celebrate Your Singlehood

It’s important to celebrate the occasion and the success of coming out of the darkness. You can do that by taking a trip with your kids, girlfriends, or even alone if you can afford it.

Also, you can organize a divorce shower. Actually, this is an excellent chance of recouping things you have lost in the split. Such a celebration marks the start of a new life.

Seek Professional Support

It’s advisable to get a therapist when crying on your friends’ shoulders is no longer working. These professionals will help you jump-start your new life and seek medical attention when necessary.

This is necessary because people find it hard to embrace the new lifestyle. They lack the motivation about life on their own. On the other hand, a professional can outline how you can live your life after the divorce.


You can survive a divorce even though it causes emotional and financial strain. The split is a complete lifestyle alteration. However, you can come out stronger by applying the featured suggestions.

Kossi Adzo is the editor and author of He is software engineer. Innovation, Businesses and companies are his passion. He filled several patents in IT & Communication technologies. He manages the technical operations at

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